blog.bagaki.com

36 Hours… The life span of online news stories, and the length of Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s acting career. I was visiting a close friends abode last night for some leisure chat a hoohak when the movie Dead Man on Campus was in front of us on his television. I haven’t seen this one in a while, probably ‘98 when it came out. It did bring to discussion the where abouts of Mark-Paul and his career, or lack there of as of late. A quick trip to IMDb turned up no recent film but a ton of TV show appearances. I guess he is going back to his roots. Here is a stroll down memory lane for any twenty-something that had eyes and a TV in the 80’s and 90’s.

When I wake up in the morning
And the clock lets out a warning
I don’t think I’ll ever make it on time
By the time I got my books I give myself a look
I’m at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by

It’s alright cause I’m saved by the bell

If the teacher pops a test I know I’m a mess
And my dog ate all my homework last night
Riding low in my chair she won’t know that I’m there
If I can hand it in tomorrow it’ll be alright

It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.
It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.
It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.

I don’t know of anyone in that age bracket who hasn’t seen all of the episodes (a minimum of twice), including the many hour-long specials. Talk about early product placement, when I say “Zack Morris Phone” everyone immediately identifies this phone, the Motorola DynaTAC 8000X. You know what if pretty funny, Saved By The Bell was only produced for 4 yours (1989-93) yet you would have thought it was on for a decade. They sure made some big cash with syndication on that one.

If he really going by “The Hoff” now? Those girls could be his daughters. Haha. Crank this one up, another Hasselhoff classic. I like when he winks at 1:42. I think some of the lip-sink are off at parts of the video. To think this is a real video distributed by Sony BMG. This looks like a shameless self-promotion video to me, come on now Dave.

After watching this video a few times, it really creeps me out. The Hoff is way too old to be hitting on these girls. It just isn’t right. The devil part is pretty good too.

On 17, July 1952 in Baltimore, Maryland, USA was born David Hasselhoff. Happy 54th birthday David Michael Hasselhoff.

How would any holiday week be complete without some Michael McDonald to sooth your soul. Enjoy this duet with Toni Braxton.

Everyone knows what a jumping jack is and how to do one, but do you know where the name comes from? I bet not, so I feel it is my place to let you know. How about a lovely fact for this enjoyably Sunday afternoon? Sure, please tell me one you say. Well back in the day, lets say sometime between 1920 and 1940 in Anywhere, USA there was a man named Jack Lalanne. He was a big fitness and exercise guy, and boy was he ripped. This guy has done some incredible things in his life, including putting his name on a juicing machine. That aside, he apparently invented the “Jumping Jack” as an exercise move. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.

This is the recipe for fun, fun, fun.

Doesn’t Mike look priestly in this photo. I like the white suit or whatever he is wearing, almost God-like. Fitting for a man that can sing like he does. Michael McDonald… the man with the vocal chords of God.

If you are like me, when you read “Michael McDonald Blog” your heart starts racing and you brace yourself for what might be the highest point in your life. I stumbled across a McDonald blog during a random visit to the blog search engine Bitacle. (As a side note, I wasn’t too impressed with this search engine) I read “The Official Michael McDonald Blog” and just about lost it. I think, OMG Michael is speaking to the masses via this new communication method. I regained a normal breathing pattern after a brief moment of hysteria, and clicked on the link. To my utter disappointment, there was nothing there. There was just one post from February 19th that read:

Welcome to the new Michael McDonald Blog Page. This site will develop into a place where we will post interviews in audio and video form. Please check back soon as the site is constructed.

What a disappointment. The first post was from Feb and still nothing on the site. I was hoping this new blog would complete me, you know, fulfill my soul. So much for that. I guess I will have to go back to stalking that kid I think is Michael McDonald’s cousins son

This is for all the David Hasselhoff fans, wearing your black pleather and sporting perms. You wash your black Pontiac Firebirds and talk to them softly. You groom your chest hair and smile pretty for the mirror. What nice teeth you have. “Damn I look sexy” you think to yourselves. Thats OK, because David looks good too. Isn’t life grand, isn’t life Hasselhoff.

I think I watch about 20 minutes of TV a month, so when I turn it on what do I see? Hasselhoff judging on some American Idol spin-off. Oh, how TV has changed. I remember even 15 years ago there was quality sitcoms on, none of this unscripted crap. Think back to Balki Bartokomous and Perfect Strangers, now that was quality TV. And who remembers Larry Appleton, I wonder what ever happened to him.

I had to add this one to the arsenal. It Was A Very Good Year by Sinatra, as performed by William Shatner. His facial expressions are right on, I couldn’t have done it better myself. There are some shots in this video that actually scare me. He looks damn possessed. What is this guys deal? What is going through his head? What planet is he really from?

Here is a thought to ponder while you force yourself to watch this clip, can anyone really be that happy as they describe their life. I understand it was a good year, but that is just unbelievable how happy Shatner looks in a few of those “moments” during the song.

Rocketman, as interpreted by William Shatner.

After a short discussion with Jack LaLanne the other day in the “As Seen On TV” isle, in yet another local retailer, I ran into good friend Ron Popeil. He said hello, so I had to stop for a chat. What a great guy that Ron. He invents all of the wonderful products that help to make the world a hairy, dehydrated, evenly cooked place. (Check out the number of small chickens in the pro unit, 4 whole chickens) So after his friendly hello and complacent sales pitch, he introduced me to an offer too good not to pass along. Just tell a friend he whispered in my ear, and I will show you a product so useful, so revolutionary, so flavorful, that you will want one for all your friends and family. He then presented me with this wondrous product, the ronco solid flavor injector. Never before have I used such a masterfully crafted tool. This oversized syringe allows you to fill your bird, roast, or fish with so much solid flavor your mouth will beg for your next fix. This product can take your run-of-the-mill dinner and make it Ronco-rific. The possibilities are limitless and are only restricted by your creativity. Imagine fresh garlic, parsley, oregano, and fresh crushed red pepper injected into your 4 whole chickens revolving to juicy goodness in your Ronco rotisserie. Or how about garlic, carrots, potato, and M&M’s injected into your favorite box of hamburger helper. Now thats good cooking.

Thanks Ron, another 6 minutes of my life were taken away by your marketing techniques. As I stood in the isle, mesmerized by your miracle blade knives, I just had to learn about your giant solid flavor injector. Now that I am educated in this ronco-rific new product, I can sleep at night knowing that I too have been influenced by your entire product line. Thank Ron, its always a pleasure.

Doesn’t this guy look like a smug old bastard. He’s like, “I have swam pulling 70+ boats across a large harbor, I’m one hardcore son of a bitch”

I think Jack LaLanne is advocating heavy drinking when he says, “get juiced”. Heavy drinking of juice from the Power Juicer. Its fun how the Power Juicer website stresses that “Rush Deliver Is Available”. For those who just cannot wait to start juicing. Just start juicing today!

“Are you fat, are you overweight?” “Well then this product is for you. It can magically transform you into the ideal person you wish to be, and listen to how quiet it is” “No other juicer is as quiet and extracts so much juice” “Wow Jack, thats a lot of juice”

This has to be one of my favorite informercials of all time. I love this Jack Lalanne character. This guy is apparently an old-tyme hardass. You have to check out the Jack LaLanne wikipedia page to see what this guy has done and the age he performed the feat. Here are a few of my favorites, all of them accomplished while in his 60’s!

# 1974 (age 60): For the second time, Jack swam from Alcatraz Island to Fisherman’s Wharf. Again, he was handcuffed, but this time he was also shackled and towed a 1,000-pound boat.
# 1975 (age 61): Repeating his performance 21 years earlier, Jack again swam the entire length of the Golden Gate Bridge, underwater and handcuffed, but this time he was shackled and towed a 1,000-pound boat.
# 1976 (age 62): To commemorate the “Spirit of ‘76″, United States Bicentennial, Jack swam one mile in Long Beach Harbor. He was handcuffed and shackled, and he towed 13 boats (representing the 13 original colonies) containing 76 people.
# 1979 (age 65): Jack towed 65 boats in Lake Ashinoko, near Tokyo, Japan. He was handcuffed and shackled, and the boats were filled with 6,500 pounds of Lousiana Pacific wood pulp.

Last winter Hallmark sponsored Michael McDonald and put together a holiday album. I guess it was only available for a few months and only at Hallmark stores. I am pissed this wasn’t more widely publicized. This is THE Christmas album, I mean Michael wrote the title track.

The title track is a new holiday classic written by Michael and his wife, Amy Holland, for this CD.

It’s a new holiday classic!!! Damn you Hallmark, DAMN YOU. How could I have missed out on this once-in-a-hallmark album. I would have purchased 30 cards to get at one of these discs. Thats what I get for not being a Gold Crown member. You are just not privy to all the great information in life unless you are “in the system”.

(I just wanted to comment on the photo to the left. Mikey is just not “workin’ it for the camera” anymore. I can just hear the photographer… “yes, yes, yes, give me some love, make sweet love to the camera mike, lets make it happen.” “Let me see those baby blues, yes yes yes!” Instead it looks like he is choking on something, and why the dark rings around his eyes, this guy needs sleep. As always, you can click on the photo for a larger image.)

During slumber last night, as vision was depicted in my dream. This vision may scare many of you, and with that being said, you may wish to stop reading at this point. For those strong enough to handle my vision of the future, please read on….

As I lay in deep rest, a message was broadcast to me via my dream. It was a vision of zombie attacks and musical bliss. It started on the 7th floor of a college dorm. There were kids all over the place, many of them hiding in their rooms. As I was visiting with a friend, I noticed this unique looking cat enter the room. It had black and white vertical stripes on it, much like a zebra. I asked my friend is this was his cat and he said yes. Immediately the zebra cat attacked him and bit him in the face and neck. I immediately new this was a zombie cat and that I had to get out of there before it attacked me. My friend now became a zombie and I knew I was next. I turned to the door and saw a pink cat pawing to get out, I though maybe this cat hadn’t been affected yet. As I opened the door to allow for the pink cat’s escape, five more cats ran in. It had duped me, only hinting at its escape to allow for more zombie cats into the room. I knew I had to get out of there; they were amassing to take us over. I quickly ran down the hall to the first door I saw, I turned the handle and luckily it was open. I entered the room to warn the others of the impeding danger and to barricade the door so other zombies could not enter.

This is where the story takes a sudden shift. As I warned the seven beautiful woman of the zombie attack I suddenly found myself standing in a videogame store at a mall. At first it seemed like it was just a small room full of old Nintendo and Sega games. There were thousands of games neatly organized on several shelves. As I approached the back of the store, I saw how large the store had become. Apparently I entered the store in the back entrance, and was only seeing the overstock in the back room. This place was huge, and had every type of video games system in existence, even some that do not exist. As I was browsing, making sure I had every Zelda game made, I received a phone call. It was from my African American hip-hop artist friend. (As a note, in the dream he did not have a name, but for the sake of this story, I will name him Gary.)

Gary indicated that he needed some assistance at his latest gig. So I gathered some friends from thin air, hopped into my white pickup truck and headed into nowhere. While on the way I received a phone call from Michael McDonald. When we arrived at the venue, some type of church or community center Gary was there mingling with the audience before the show. Suddenly my phone rings, to my utter surprise the called id reads: “Michael McDonald”. I’m like, no way Mike’s calling. So I answer and talk to him, but never heard his voice, talk about creepy. He was asking about Gary’s concert and where it was at. All of a sudden I’m standing amongst 30+ people sitting patiently in a church or community center waiting for Gary to perform. I see Gary and he walks over to chat. He is wearing what looks like traditional African garb, and he seems very excited and happy. Suddenly my phone rings again, guess who? Its McDonald again. As I pick up the phone to answer my alarm clock rings.

I’m pissed I couldn’t hang around for Mikey to show up and for Gary to entertain the middle aged folks with his hip-hop styling’s. It would have been sweet if Mike jumped in with a little freestyle. Stupid alarm clocks, they ruin everything good in life.