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After almost 6 months of tracking Michael McDonald songs on the radio at work, I have decided to put an end to the first phase of this project. The grueling task of tracking every song Michael sang in and recording it to a database is now complete. With 6 months of data, we are now going to shift to the second phase of the McDonald Project.

We will now be analyzing this data to be organized into meaningful and fun-filled charts and graphs. If there is any type of measurement you want to see conducted during the analysis phase, please let us know.

Here is a taste of what we will be documenting:

* number of songs
* frequency of song
* times songs were played
* most common time
* common tracks

There are most definitely more statistics to come from this project. The end of phase II will result in a published report indicating our observations.

Our third phase will be the development of a Michael McDonald Prediction System - a system that will predict the number of Michael McDonald songs to be played during my typical shift, along with what tracks I might hear. The Michael McDonald Prediction System is still in concept stage and more details will be released when available.

We would like to thank all of our supporters for helping us make it this far. This is a great day of achievement for Michael McDonald fans around the globe.

Mr McD stood me up. I guess it could be worse, I could have been stood up by Ronald McDonald, but who is counting the tears. I heard not a single song yesterday (Friday, February 10, 2006). I think this was due to the fact it was Sir Franklin’s birthday, and he isn’t a fan. If that is the case, then I’m fine with it. If it wasn’t the case, then I might just boycott everything Michael McDonald.

Speaking of Ronald McDonald, how many of you just love the big purple monster. What is his name, Grimice? Griffiths? Gobslerd? In any event, that guy is awesome. Think about this… Ronald McDonald was like the ring-leader of the group. There was the Hamburgler, the fry guys, the bird girl (who I think chicken nuggets are made from), and Grimace. They go around terrorizing this country, filling childrens heads with visions of this purple creature attacking them when they buy milkshakes.

More important than milkshakes is the question: what the hell is Grimace? I have heard a “gumdrop looking creature”, but that is bullshit. Sure he looks like one, but he isn’t one. And why did they turn Grimace into such a fool. He was a ravenous killing machine, now he is a mentally deficient beast. To end this wonderful journey into mindless bliss, I present to you a rip off: What If They Mated….

The Dildolopogus and Grimace

When I awoke on February 4th, I had no idea what was about to happen to me that day. I went to work as I normally do on Saturday mornings, with a cup of coffee in one hand and my trusty Luger in the other. As I arrived at work, the day was turning out to be just another day.

By mid-afternoon I had heard only three McDonald tracks on the radio. I wasn’t too worried about this, because three Michael McDonald songs in one day is a treat in and of itself. When the clock struck 5pm and the fourth McDonald song graced my ears, I knew that today would be the day. I was working until 11pm and with 6 hours left before the end of my shift; I knew that I would hear more McDonald songs today that any other day before. There was still time to break the record of 4 songs. I was poised to hear 6 sings this day.

As the hours ticked past and with no McDonald in the air, I was beginning to worry. Then at around 7:37pm, he hit song #5. Things were starting to look better. By looking at previously logged entries, there are usually a few songs after 9pm. I was thinking, “We’re goona do it baby, thank you Mike”. Well, it was soon 9pm, 10pm, 11pm, and there was no Michael. What was happening, was my dream of hearing 6 McDonald songs during one day at work fading. Was it now gone?

I left at 11:15pm, punching out with disbelief, my body about to collapse. My hand was shaking as I swiped my card, I was damn near in tears. “How could you do this to me Michael, how!?! I have sparked excitement into the entire crew that works here. Everyone gets excited when you come on the radio, everyone knows your name.” “Why would he do this do to me” I thought. As I drove home that night, I knew I would be crying myself to sleep.

Tonight at work I experienced the FIRST EVER back-to-back Michael McDonald set. Starting with a Doobies classic “It Keeps You Running” followed by a treat from his Motown album “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”. The gods must be listening tonight, because there is nothing sweeter than the thunderous voice of Michael McDonald. A double shot to get me through the night. Thanks automated playlist computer, dreams do come true.

I am sorry to say that I think I have addicted my brother to a Michael McDonald song. It’s called “Take it to Heart” and it’s definitely a timeless classic or at least a “Time-Life” classic. I did not understand what I was doing when I first played it for him. It was at my current place of residence and I happened to have the video on my computer which I downloaded through itunes (yeah, I actually payed for a Michael McDonald video, but it was with itunes bucks that I won). So anyways, I said, “Check this out,” and played it for him. We both agreed that the video was difficult to watch, but at the same time, that soulfull, husky baritone voice pouring from the speakers struck a cord deep inside of his brain, which is no surprise because hey, the guy can sing.

So later that day I cruised over to his house and he was drunk as all hell smelling like fetal alchohol baby (it was approximately 6:30 PM on a sunday). He demanded I retrieve the disc from my car so he could listen to the song. I complied, but when I went to leave he again made a demand that I leave the disc with him. I went to the car and borrowed him a different disc with the same song on it. I left him to McD and went home.

Several days later I spoke with him and he said he could not stop listening to the song every time he drove in his car. “I listen to it like six times a fucking day,” He said. Now, I remember hearing from someone who was an expert in addiction that they always double the number of drinks etc that the addict claims because they just assume that they downsize it to look better or whatever. This would mean that my brother is listening to the same McD song at least twelve times a day. He also said, “I’ll go to the the next track or put in a new CD, but after thirty seconds I’m back listening to ‘Take it to Fucking Heart’”. Then, as if this was not enough of an indication of an out of control Michael McDonald addiction, he called my phone one night at approximately 3:00 AM and left a message for me. I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand on end as I listened to the message the next day. It was a solid thirty second clip of McDonald’s “Take it to Heart”.

Due to the fact that his McDonald habit is now beginning to affect others, I think it’s time my family and I sat him down and had a “carefrontation” about his unhealthy intake of Michael McDonald. Then again I listen to a lot of the guy myself. Now that I think of it, I’m kind of like a Michael McDonald pusher (note that I just happened to have some extra McD for my brother in my car). I have also gotten another brother of mine into McDonald’s “unique blend of blue-eyed soul and soft-rock music”. I guess that means we’re all kind of like drug buddies.

So I avoided the proverbial “happy new year” post, and am I ever glad. I typed up about 1.5 pages of words to post, but my better half decided not to. Anyway, since the upgrade to the blog, the daily links have not been working. (Might I add, the backend stuff is working quite nicely) I do hope everyone had a safe weekend. Expect tons of new things this year, as we continue to rollout some more of our secret projects.

I have been looking into having a few contributor writers for some humorous articles, but I am not sure that is set up correctly. If you think you have what it takes, send a few samples to thee ol’ email-box and you may be the next contestant on “provide content for my blog”. aaahahahaha

In other recent news, nothing else happened. I have really been struggling lately for some good “blog” worthy content. Half of the reason I am typing this is to have a post more recent than November 2005. I am also going through Michael McDonald withdrawal, as I haven’t heard any of his music at work tonight…. what am I to do?

EDIT: first post of 2006 - count how many times I use the word “I”

Well, I finally figured out the title of the song that has been boggling me for the past month. It is actually a Dobbie Brother’s song titled “You’re Made That Way”. Now everyone can sleep at night, the problem has been solved.

Well, I’ve had another three song night, all in a day’s work I guess. It is actually kind of funny how everyone at work knows Michael McDonald now. I have made such a deal about this list and his music that every time he comes on, someone yells to me “hey Michael McDonald is on” or “isn’t this Michael McDonald?”. I usually tell them yes, and then bust into my impersonation, flailing my arms and singing into an invisible mic.

The point of this post is to inform all Michael McDonald fans out there that I have been stumped as to what song was on the radio tonight. I have heard it a few times, noted in the Michael McDonald Playlist. I have listened to every single song on iTunes and it isn’t in there. I have tried searching lyrics, but this is pretty hard. On this particular track, it is hard to distinguish what he (McDonald) is singing. I can usually only grab a few contiguos words, but that hasn’t been enough to find the lyrics. This is what I can tell you I remember from the song…. There is a woman singing lightly at a few points, maybe the chorus. Also, it ends something like this “…. …. …. That way”. It might also be “this way”, I don’t have the paper I wrote it down on. He sings that line over and over a few times until the song ends. I can definitely recall the song if I head it, it has a memorable beat. That is all I have. If you or anyone you know may have information leading to the title of this track, it is advised to contact us immediately. And remember, don’t do it for us, do it for the rest of the world, without Michael McDonald, we would all rather be deaf.

Today is without a doubt the best day of my life. not because We Be Jowlin’ won last night, not because I woke up hung over and felt like shit, and not even because I won the lottery. Today is the best day of my life because I was lucky enough to hear the famed vocals of the great David Hasselhoff on the musak at work, singing a Christmas song nonetheless. I mean, he is no Michael McDonald, but he must be somewhere in the top 10,000 male singers of all time. This guy has it all; a talking car, a luscious carpet on his chest, and a German following greater than Hitler.

Now, if it was socially acceptable to hunt humans, I would go for Hasselhoff. Not because I hate the man or his music, I have nothing against him. I would just skin him and use his chest hair for a rug, you know, like those bear rugs you see with the head on them. Just picture that, a David Hasselhoff rug as you enter my trophy/stuffed animal room. There would be full size elephants, tigers, wild beasts, and goats. We could sit down, light up a fancy cigar using a $100, sip on some top shelf scotch, and admire the warmth and beauty that David’s chest hair brings to all. Too bad not everyone feels this way.

So I went shopping with a friend of mine tonight to waste some time and to visit. We were at this store, one in which i will not name, and she was looking for a gift for her roommate. She had found this toaster thing that she thought would be perfect. Unfortunately there were none left on the shelf. We then walked over to this heavyset man who appeared to be the manager and asked him if there were any more in the back. He whipped out his hand-held scanner from the holster and typed in the UPC code. No luck, there were no more in stock, but he did advise us that he had 10-14 on order and that they should be here within the next week. He said there were trucks coming everyday until gift-day, I mean Christmas. Anyway, the fat manager that was helping us was a very nice man. And although he had fat rolls on the back of his neck, and the fact that he had sweat beading on his face when he helped us, does nothing to take away from how friendly and helpful he was. What a good employee.

Well, since there was not toaster thingy in stock, we went over to look at candles. During the 20 minute smelling session, on the radio in the store came the most tripped out Christmas song I have ever heard. I wish there was some way of I could have recorded it, there is just no way you will ever understand unless you are lucky enough to hear this gem. I don’t know what the hell was going on, maybe all the scents from the candles made me delirious or something, but this song was just plain ridiculous. The man’s voice who was singing the carol was under heavy reverb and the background music was all trippy as he sang about x-mas. Buy hey; I got a sweet candle at 40 percent off, what a find.

After we were done and checked out, we took a stroll over the liquor store across the way. I picked up my Christmas present to myself, a bottle of mid-shelf vodka and some Kahlua. White Russians here I come. What truly made my alcohol shopping experience great was the Michael McDonald that came on over the store radio while I was there. There is nothing like a little Motown to sooth the soul while shopping for some booze. “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” to stop me from getting drunk, that right mike, he knows.

Not only did I hear four, yes FOUR Michael McDonald songs at work last night, there were all within 5 Hours 44 Minutes. The Michael McDonald Playlist tells all. This is not the first shift with four songs, it is the second, but it is the shortest span for all four songs being played. I hope you have a wonderful day, or as Michael would sing to you:

Maybe it’s true what they say about it
Maybe we can’t make the ends meet
Maybe we’ll all have to do without it
Maybe this world’s just incomplete

Everything is complete now that i have heard michael just about on the hour every hour. We set a record the other day too, with two songs withing 25 minutes. Keep it up musak station, i love you and your wonderful Michael McDonald playlists. You complete me.

For those not following The Michael McDonald Playlist, go check it out. On 12/01/2005 I heard the intoxicating vocals of Mike three times at work for the first time in a while. Although three songs in one night isn’t the record, it ranks in the top. I have been following the titles being played recently and it seems they are all the same. I am just hoping for some more great songs to fill my head and my heart.

The record still stands for February 4th, 2005. I heard Michael McDonald four times during an eight hour shift. Lets see if they can make it five songs!!!!! I sure hope they do.

As long as we are on the topic, check out the time span between McDonald songs on 12/02/2005. First at 8:33 PM, then again at 8:58 PM. I think that this sets the record for closest time between two Michael McDonald songs. Rejoice!

We’re adding a new feature to the blog, a real-time updated Michael McDonald playlist. That’s right, every time I hear Mr. McDonald belting out one of his greats; I will post it to the playlist. The Michael McDonald Playlist (link below on the right) is available to show you just how much they play this guy on the radio at the airport I work at. It will simply amaze you.

The current playlist is from January of 2005 and spans about one month. You can see just how many times I hear this guy. Isn’t this guy dead sexy with the salt and peppered hair and beard, those breath taking blue eyes, and a voice to just die for. Good thing I am a fan, otherwise this would be hell!!!