A weekend with Gurt, the adventure of a lifetime. This is your chance to win the ultimate party favor, Gurt Luhrman himself. Use him, abuse him, just don’t lose him. This package is valued at $4500.00 and is part of the November Giveaway and the bagaki experience. Now you can be one of the first to be part of what is sure to become bigger than Zuba’s or pogs.
Due to the time frame in which people access the site, I will post the following question and all correct answers will be added to a drawing for this exquisite giveaway.
QUESTION: What is the name of Gurt T Luhrman’s father?
All correct answers must be time-stamped by 11:59pm CST on November 24th, 2006. Begin your experience, The Bagaki Experience.
November 22, 2006 at 10:15
My understanding is the Gurt Luhrman is the lovechild of Michael McDonald and Barbara Walters, who had a fling after an interview on 20/20.
November 22, 2006 at 10:39
If the above is true, then I totally understand why Gurt is the way he is! But I was under the impression that Gurt father was a wild Yeti that broke into a northern Wisconsin convience store and drank a Hamm 30 pack and well the rest pretty much writes itself.
November 22, 2006 at 11:08
You are getting warmer…..
Gooncho7, please allow me to pose this question to you: who is my mother then?
November 22, 2006 at 13:30
Gurt’s father is a top model from the Abercrombie & Fitch billboards. You often see only his ripped six pack abs because he was freakishly disfigured in an automobile accident involving two semis: one carrying unpackaged light bulbs and the other unpackaged salt. They collided with his two door open top car showering him with their contents on him. His body remained unscathed due to his enjoyment of full body pleather suits but his face was horribly scarred from the flying glass shards and having salt (literally) in his wounds. With his face now at the opposite end of the beauty spectrum, he wandered the lonely, dank
alleyways of urban metropolises cast out from society. On the up side his face remained brined for years meaning he no longer had to salt the leftover scraps of food he pulled from the dumpster. Gurt’s father was not a quitter. He was a smart man and a fighter. So one night as he picked the chicken scraps off a maggoty piece of KFC, he vowed to reclaim his former place in society. So he came up with a scheme to sell arms to Iran, an avowed enemy of the United Stated, and use the proceeds to fund the Contras, an anti-communist guerrilla organization in Nicaragua, then blame the whole damn thing on Reagan. This strategy as history tells us in 1986 Luhrman’s father’s plan worked after which the Supreme Leader of Iran, the Contras, and Reagan, who had already forgot what the hell had happened with the whole damn thing anyway, all helped Luhrman regain his position as a model. Even though they pooled together the most talented medical professionals in the world they were unable to reconstruct Luhrman’s face so to this day he remains grossly disfigured. Any photos you generally see of him are either from the neck down or with a photoshopped head on them. And that is the story of Gurt Luhrman’s father’s rise and fall and rise again. Morale: Alway wear your seatbelt. (Oh wait thats what trapped him in the car to be brined.)
Wait, I was supposed to talk about the spawning of Gurt. Well, when Gurt’s father was down and out (see previous rant), he sold his sperm to a fertility clinic, but couples after seeing his grotesque picture rejected it, so it was given to scientists, who thought from his picture that it came from some sort of man beast chimera shit, so they used it in genetic engineering experiments with stem cells from an alcoholic goat, which drank only Blatz from a can then ate the can as well; It was all put it inside an Emu (Dromaius novaehollandiae) egg and after 56 days of Incubation by an ostrich (Struthio camelus) Gurt hatched and was subsequently raised for a time by a pack of wolves but was ultimately adopted by a band of hippies who traveled the country selling grilled cheeses to make it day to day. He was then sold to Mr. Bagaki at the height of the recession in the early nineties where he remains today. Now you know the rest of the story.
November 22, 2006 at 13:34
Sorry didn’t read the question close enough. QUESTION: What is the name of Gurt T Luhrman’s father? ANSWER: Baz
November 22, 2006 at 15:17
Gurt’s mother was the owner of above said convenience store. After seeing what she thought to be an ordinary, yet extremely hair, man take down a 30 pack, she know she had found her soulmate. After years of domesticating the Yeti by rewarding him with Hamms they married. She named the Yeti Harold days before the marriage. Since he did not have a last name Harold took on hers. Therefore they would be know as Harold and Betsie Luhrman.
November 28, 2006 at 15:22
so who won?
November 29, 2006 at 03:01
I’m waiting on more responses, plus none of you got the name correct. Its not that hard, I can’t give you more clues than that.
As far as the origins of Gurt and his father, it is a draw. They are both semi-factual and bring tears to my eyes.
December 1, 2006 at 02:48
AND THE WINNER IS…..
no one! The correct answer was Lurl Luhrman. It can be found referenced in this post from 2005.
I will try this again in December. I appreciate all responses, as they for sure will be used in the autobiography of Gurt Luhrman. All credits will be designated where due. Thank you.