blog.bagaki.com

I was just out enjoying the gorgeous summer night and had the opportunity to briefly play with a puppy named Indeo. I was sprawled on a concrete staircase leading to a building that no longer exists when this woman walked into the park with her puppy. She had taken him out for a midnight walk. It was nice to actually talk to someone at that hour of the morning. To be honest, I was surprised that she even spoke to me. From my recent experience, people do not talk to strangers. She seemed nice. She asked me if I was one of the people speeding around the neighborhood. Fortunately I could honestly say no. I am too anal with my new car to beat on it on the rough roads where I live.

Her dog was pretty cool, it looked like a rottweiler, but I could not tell - I am terrible with dog breeds, especially in the dark. He slowly approached me checking me out. Then I petted him and he got all excited. He was licking me and jumping around. It was pretty cool. He then crawled in my lap for a bit as I chatted with his master.

I am still in a bit of shock that I could interact with someone in the dark, alone, where I live. The people here are just not friendly (even during daylight hours). I don’t know what it is, but this world is not what I thought it would be when I was a kid. Here is your self-defense move of the day. When in a compromising situation and without a standard weapon (gun, knife, etc.) the common pen can become a tool of life or death. If attacked, simply withdraw your pen from your pocket and jab it into the neck of your opponent. A swift lunge at the jugular can save your life in a moment of need.

This safety tip brought to you by headon - apply directly to your forehead, headon - apply directly to your forehead, headon - apply directly to your forehead

Quite a while back now I was informed of a website claiming the TV star Dustin Diamond was in the midst of loosing his house. I checked it out, thought “well maybe this is for real”. It is possible that he squandered the money he made back in the early ’90s or maybe his agent pissed it away.

The other day I re-visited the site to check on his situation, see if he raised the money needed to save his house. Well, 8 months later, he is still claiming that in one month his house will be gone to a group of developers. I call bullshit. I think this is just simply part of an online guerrilla marketing campaign to sell some t-shirts for a t-shirt company he probably has a stake in. He has actually updated the site now to include “virtual bricks” that can be purchased for $1000 USD for advertisements. He figures his site draws enough attention to attract advertisers to pay to be on it. His claim is “only 250 bricks are available”. Do the math and thats $250,000. This guy is trying to cash in. Well, here is news for ya, not gonna happen.

There is also a link for a site he must be developing called ratecomedy.com. I recommend checking it out just to see Screech in a bathtub full of mr bubbles. I like the beginning part of the clip where he describes himself as a celebrity. Gosh it must suck to be forever known as Screech from Saved By The Bell. I bet he even really farts in the tub.

Welcome to RateComedy.com the home for humor on the web, this site is not just a place to laugh and snicker, no, no, its much more than that, its a place to be creative and share ideas on funny. For this site is but a canvass with which you can paint your ideas and watch them take flight or watch them take a big steamy dump. After all lets face it, not every idea is a winner in the realm of laughter.

And if you have ever wondered about Mr. Richard Belding….

Anyone seen a commercial for Orkin Pest Control recently? I saw one tonight with the Orkin man in it and I thought it was strange because he is wearing a hard hat. What the fuck would a pest control man need a hard hat for?

Another commercial I noticed recently was one on the radio for Cub Foods advertising their boneless skinless chicken breasts where they talk to (supposedly) real customers about their feelings towards Cub boneless skinless chicken breasts. It makes for a pretty goddamn annoying commercial with the fake customers cracking jokes that are reminiscent of Bob Sagat as the host of America’s Funniest Home Videos. But the best is when some guy in the commercial says “Why did the boneless skinless chicken cross the road?…To get to Cub Foods.” Funny stuff, but I couldn’t help but wonder, Why did the boneless skinless chicken cross the road? More like How did it cross the road.

I love commercials.

I had an idea similar to this 8 years ago. It didn’t involve skateboards, but it will be pretty cool. Now all I need is my video camera and I will be set. This is why I need either a sponsor who give me tons of cash for equipment or a rich girlfriend who sees potential trapped behind a lack of funding. Watch bagaki.tv for my video in the distant future.

Ok, ok I just could not wait to unveil the new design of the blog. There are a few things that Gurt and I will be finishing up over the next few days, but otherwise everything is in working order. We have installed a bunch of cool new features, here is the run down:

I think that sums up most of the changes. Besides a slightly updated design, everything else is the same. Let me know what you think. Have a great Wednesday.

UPDATE:

It has been brought to our attention that certain features don’t work so hot under Internet Explorer. After some further testing, it has been concluded that the “rolling archive” along the top will not work in IE, as well as some small features here and there. My suggestion to you is to change your browser immediately anyway. IE is ridden with security flaws, but unlike other browsers, it is also the target for attack. It’s close integration with Windows make is additionally critical to avoid. There are now two options for your web browsing needs:

Firefox and Opera

Both of these browsers are “standards compliant” and are freely available. They will also improve your browsing experience, increase your computers security, and guarantee that this wondrous blog displays correctly on your computer.

36 Hours… The life span of online news stories, and the length of Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s acting career. I was visiting a close friends abode last night for some leisure chat a hoohak when the movie Dead Man on Campus was in front of us on his television. I haven’t seen this one in a while, probably ‘98 when it came out. It did bring to discussion the where abouts of Mark-Paul and his career, or lack there of as of late. A quick trip to IMDb turned up no recent film but a ton of TV show appearances. I guess he is going back to his roots. Here is a stroll down memory lane for any twenty-something that had eyes and a TV in the 80’s and 90’s.

When I wake up in the morning
And the clock lets out a warning
I don’t think I’ll ever make it on time
By the time I got my books I give myself a look
I’m at the corner just in time to see the bus fly by

It’s alright cause I’m saved by the bell

If the teacher pops a test I know I’m a mess
And my dog ate all my homework last night
Riding low in my chair she won’t know that I’m there
If I can hand it in tomorrow it’ll be alright

It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.
It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.
It’s alright ’cause I’m saved by the bell.

I don’t know of anyone in that age bracket who hasn’t seen all of the episodes (a minimum of twice), including the many hour-long specials. Talk about early product placement, when I say “Zack Morris Phone” everyone immediately identifies this phone, the Motorola DynaTAC 8000X. You know what if pretty funny, Saved By The Bell was only produced for 4 yours (1989-93) yet you would have thought it was on for a decade. They sure made some big cash with syndication on that one.

If you have been on the site in the past few hours you will have noticed many different things, especially the way things look. We are testing (I know, we should test on a different server) our new implementation of the of site. We are installing new features and configuring everything to work properly. There are A LOT of bugs and things to get aligned. Please bare with us over the next few days as I slave away trying to get this thing up to par.

It will take some time, so you will be bounced between our current site and the new one. If you see anything you like or don’t like, give us some feed back. We will let you know when we are going to launch the new blog.bagaki.com 2.0, so don’t worry too much about that.

UPDATE:

Things are moving along GREAT!!! The transition is going a lot faster than planned. I guess I have learned a lot in the past year. We are planning to continue upgrading throughout the night, who knows maybe tomorrow we will have the new site live!!!

This audio blip has been floating around the net for a while. It has recently stirred a lot of attention and thought I would propagate it also. This is a classic phone prank where the guy on the phone rings a local takeout restaurant. He then places them on hold, rings another takeout restaurant, then connects the two asking the first to repeat the order, and having the second takeout think he is ordering. Have a listen, it will make more sense.

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If he really going by “The Hoff” now? Those girls could be his daughters. Haha. Crank this one up, another Hasselhoff classic. I like when he winks at 1:42. I think some of the lip-sink are off at parts of the video. To think this is a real video distributed by Sony BMG. This looks like a shameless self-promotion video to me, come on now Dave.

After watching this video a few times, it really creeps me out. The Hoff is way too old to be hitting on these girls. It just isn’t right. The devil part is pretty good too.

I ran into this ingenious product and thought, “wow, I would have no use for this, but I bet people did in the past”. This is a pretty cool idea though, vertically slotted fan to direct air not to disturb paper and other documents on desks.

What I need to invent now is a fan for the digital age that doesn’t rustle “digital” paper. Just imaging what that fan would look like. My new fan design shown on the right mimics the typical fan design by oscillating air in the direction of the persons desire. All of this is controlled via brainwaves, which can be used to operate the fan from a distance of up to 3 inches. Your dreams come true with only the thought of a cool breeze. Simply insert brainwave probes (not included) into your cranium and you have the ultimate party device. When you start thinking about the fan blades turning, here comes the cool breeze… stop thinking about it and it turns itself off.

Just imagine, the next time you want to perform your Darth Vader impersonation, all you have to do is think about it. It will save everyone around you from having their time wasted.

Red Swingline Stapler - Office Space Movie Quiz

For those looking to waste a few moments of your work day, this is your answer. I recently rewatched office space, what a fun movie. This quiz is fun for the first 15 questions, then I loose interest.

My recent viewing of the movie led to a conversation with gooncho about the movie and he brought to my attention that mike judge actually had an animated series (or short series) titled “Milton”. Yes this is the very same milton from office space. Does anyone out there remember this? Apparently it was picked up by comedy central. I have never seen or heard of it until now. Sounds like it had potential.

This is what youtube is good for. You have 40 million eyes on one site’s content, start using this massive audience to re-launch shows. The long tail anyone?

We have been throwing around the idea of a new look and feel for the blog for some time. Because I personally get bored rather quickly, I have wanted to change the look of the blog for some time but decided to keep it the way it is for at least a year. Well, last week we reached that year point. Now is decision time.

I have a few questions to ask before I begin modifying the look and feel of the site. There are a ton of cool new features I would like to bring to the site and maybe freshen the layout a bit. I am seeking feedback on what you would like to see or what you DO NOT want changed.

We have been toying with the idea of a two column layout instead of the three we have now, to simplify things a bit. This is probably the most drastic change we are looking to make (at least from the viewers perspective, behind the scenes everything would be new). What do you think, what are your feelings?

Other than the column change, we want to add a bunch of cool new “web 2.0″ features that will make everything real pretty and flashy. Please throw us some feedback as to what you think would be fun or interesting for the blog. Here is a list of a few of the ideas we are considering:

Please, please let us know what you think. If you don’t we will make the changes we see fit, then you will complain, I know how this works.

UPDATE:
Well, there are a few changes that we have settled on at the moment. We will be staying with a 3 column layout. I personally prefer this style, and with wider and larger monitors the norm today, it is way easier than scrolling down and down and down.

Secondly, we will be implementing a new organizational method for all of our content. This will allow people to find articles faster and easier, for us to better categorize everything, and just make things more organized. This is going to be one of the largest undertaking of the project since all 590+ articles will need to be edited and re-tagged to conform to our new standards. What a fun way to spend a few hours on a Wednesday morning hey?

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