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Whenever I eat spaghetti, I always cut the noodles with my fork first. This way I will not choke on them, because I never want my obituary to read, “choked on spaghettiâ€
Hair Soy Sauce - I ran into this and it makes me want to puke. Be very careful of what you eat, and especially anything from China or other developing countries with limited or no regulations for food. If this is food, imagine manufacturing and other industry. It isn’t nice over there, and yes, they are destroying the planet real fast.
The journalists then found the amino acid syrup manufacturer (a bioengineering company) in Hubei province. When asking how the amino acid syrup (or powder) was generated, the manufacturer replied that the powder was generated from human hair ( 1 , 2 , 3 ). Because the human hair was gathered from salon, barbershop and hospitals around the country, it was unhygienic and mixed with condom, used hospital cottons, used menstrual cycle pad, used syringe, etc.
This floors me. French court ordered Greenpeace to remove information about GE field locations. First I am not a fan of genetically engineered plants to begin with, but when big corporations start flexing their muscles to become above the law, that just pisses me off. It looks like Monsanto has too much power, lets start breaking it up. burn all of the GE plants, I surely don’t want to eat them. Maybe the children of Monsanto employees should be the guinea pigs, not the general public. Here is a working link (as of time of publication) of the mapped locations. Look at the satellite view, there is no way to prevent contamination in an area like that.
A French court has ordered Greenpeace France to remove a webpage featuring a Google Map showing the location of commercial GE maize fields in France — despite an EU law which says the government should make the information available.
Are you lonely and wish more people would call you on your $600 cellphone with the latest ring tones from pop performers. Sure, of course, but nobody does. Why you often wonder, well probably because you are not fun to talk to. Well, why not schedule a phone call, so the next time you go for a walk in a crowded public place, you can answer and pretend to be talking to your very own friends.
Finally today, something to brighten your day, how to scramble an Emu egg. Being genetically modified myself and having hatched from the same very egg, it saddens me to see something like this happen.
So I decided to upgrade to the latest wordpress software today, what a pain in the ass. First, the darn thing wouldn’t upgrade correct. Then after I finally got the site working, none of the plugins would work correctly. Now that I have the plugins working, the theme is having issues. Something happened when I imported the files into GoLive. It was actually easier and quicker to launch an entire new site than it was to upgrade the backend software. I was going to do both at the same time, I kinda wish I would have. Well, now we are in business. Enjoy…
Friends, readers, members of the occult, I would like to take a moment to talk to you about our upcoming format changes here on the blog. I have been working hard over the past year to help generate content and a sufficient reader base to make this blog a worthy experiment. Since our 1st birthday, we have successfully re-designed the site and added a plethora of new features and pizazz. Now that the eye-candy phase of the project is complete, we are implementing the second phase, better (read original) content. In order to avoid simply re-publishing news covered elsewhere I personally wanted to create a more unique reader experience. This all starts with original content.
We began several months ago by increasing our daily post level from 1 to a minimum of three. Now Gurt, myself, and others contribute to produce three or more posts a day, with semi-daily video clips, links, and other mindless drivel. Here comes the content. We will be releasing and developing (over a period of time) a series of original pieces along with several running series. To simplify here is a rundown of what we have planned.
That pretty much sums up most of what we have planned. My email inbox was filled with inquiries spam over the weekend for writers to come aboard. I guess you will just have to wait and see what we have in store for you.
PS: Has anyone noticed I just figured out how to use the strikethrough tag in posts. Just a heads up, I will be abusing this for a while until the novelty wears off.
Have a swell Monday
Kindest Regards,
Mr Bagaki
Editor in Drag
Over the next few days, Mr Bagaki has agreed to allow me to escape my hyperbolic chamber for a mid-summer cleaning. Waste had been accumulating and it was time for some fresh food anyway. With my 48 hours of freedom, I just don’t know what to do with myself.
My first intent is to shower and maybe some exercise, then its off to the track. There is nothing like a few hours or horse racing to settle my already settled nerves, plus blow three months pay in 30 minutes. Now what, I don’t know. I have been contemplating travel, but where to. I guess I could always people watch at the lake, but then I would want to attack the stupid ones. Last time something like that happened I ended up in jail, and that wasn’t so hot with Mr Bagaki. He whipped me, can you believe it. Actually, now that I think about it, that is why I now live in a hyperbolic chamber. Well, to the lake I go, it just doesn’t get any better than that,or worse than a hyperbolic chamber.
When ever I get home and its dark I like to run around my apartment with a knife pretending there is someone lurking in the closet. This way, if there ever is, the joke will be on them.
When I found out about this, it made my month. There are Wiener races at EVERY BREWERS HOME GAME!!!! Even though I don’t know what the hell Chorizo is (it looks like a Mexican hotdog), it will be fun to watch someone wearing that big suit run around racing other costumed sausages.
Chorizo, also known as “El Picante,” will race for the first time on Saturday against the other sausages — Italian, bratwurst, Polish and hot dog. But that’ll be the only time this year he runs in the Klement’s Sausage races, which have taken place at every home game since 2000.
This is cool. I am heading down to a few games in September so I should get to see the poor souls sweating to death running in the big heavy suits. I also get to see a few Brewers games too, which is pretty cool if you ask me.
I see that Wisconsin schools are selling their souls to raise money to pay the bills. It is a shame. Too many institutions are selling their souls rights to name roads, buildings, and rooms. What a horrible state this country is in. Do you know how many major US monuments and historical landmarks are owned by China and other countries? More than you think, be scared, be very scared. We are nothing more than a herd of consumers, the US is our pasture. Our ancestors would be sad, this is what they fought for.
There once was a man named Jenis… who painted with his _________. Well, this guy’s name isn’t Jenis, but his art is made with his “man loaf” if you will. I just hope, well, that probably isn’t appropriate for this blog. Not too shabby but I’ll stick to my Bob Ross paintings. Happy little trees are better than painting with your happy little tree.
On another phallic note, there is a book on amazon.com entitled Penis Pokey allowing readers to place their “little guy” in a hole in the book and use it to represent things such as an elephant trunk. An interesting idea to say the least. The title pretty much says it all for the book. I just wonder why type of drunken stuber fostered the creation of this idea. Here is one happy customers review:
I got this book a few days ago. I laughed like crazy. Now I carry it in my car and have shown it to people, everywhere. That is including the waiting room in my doctor’s office and at my gym and without fail people have loved it and voiced, while flipping the pages, who they thought would appreciate getting this as a gift, from them. You know pretty much everyone, who doesn’t walk this earth in fear of God, will enjoy this book.
Want 24×7 real-time air quality reports? Sure, everyone does. So why not strap some air monitoring sensors to a bunch of dirty pigeons and let them do our bidding. Its like the canary in the mine trick, canary = dead, mine = unsafe except now pigeon = dead, air = unsafe. I am worried for when “they” start strapping video cameras to birds and spying on everyone. Start installing one-way glass on all of your homes. Protect your privacy. I would like to see real-time bum tracking too. Link some sensors to google maps and lets see where the bums are. Maybe even give users the ability to interact with the bums by giving them a slight electrical shock and send audible messages like “get a job” or “headon, apply to your forehead”. A new marketing coup or sick insane abuse? I think both.
For you Arrested Development fans, it looks like Microsoft (of all people, although they are not a person) will be distributing the show online coming this fall. It will be interesting to see how that service works. HDNet along with G4TV on cable will also be airing the series. They have purchased the rights for the next 3 years.
Looking to make an impact on a growing audience? Looking to spread your propaganda to the masses? Looking to work for free? Then do I have a proposition for you. I am personally making a request to all talented individuals who feel they have something worth saying and want an audience to say it to. Come and write for me, Mr Bagaki. The pay sucks, but hell, I make up for that with the benefits.
Would you like to be a part-time or full-time contributor to this blog? Let me know, send me something to convince me your worthy of an account and you’re on the team. There is some small print, but nothing you need to get a team of lawyers for, thats why I have mine.
You say to yourself, “Why should I write for bagaki.com when I could start my own blog?” Here are my pleas…
1) Simple, audience. We already have a sizable and growing LOYAL audience. Our numbers prove that. We have already shown a 62% increase in viewers this month over last, and that is a trend that isn’t stopping.
2) Be part of something greater than its parts. The bagaki.com website is greater than all of the characters it is made up of (except me of course). Be part of the family and fight with other writers to the death for your paycheck.
3) To try something new. Why use myspace or blogger when you can use bagaki.com. Our platform is friendly and efficient. You have almost complete reign of your post and you don’t have an evil empire looking over your shoulder.
Drop a message and see what fortunes lies before you.
